Chapter 6: Success and Arrogance

Continuation of Story: Demise of Relationship


Chapter 6: Success and Arrogance



Assumptions are easy to make. They are also very convenient. Probably a nice and effective defence mechanism against improvement...



Improvements or “Journey to Goodness” is always very painful. Middle path is rather easy to adopt. Be good when it suits you or whenever it is easy to be good. You could effectively use it as per your own convenience or just to impress people around you. In difficult or tempting situations it's easy to deviate and then return back to goodness when the conditions turn favourable. Simply create a nice suitable reason or a self believing story that flushes the guilt.


So was my assumption “that father will not guide me any more’ also. It was a good wish with a deceptive happiness than a true loss of guidance.


It did not last. My father was at his best that day when we sat under the tree by the pond. A sixty years old teacher pushing his thirty five years old son to be a good human being. He sounded impatient as he began the conversation. “ Material success often breeds arrogance in us. Arrogance leads to several other complications. It distorts the truth. Some of us start believing that we are “Self Made”. What is this so called self made success? The fact that you are born normal with a good personality and a high IQ is a gift. A gift of nature or parents or God. Then we are groomed by parents, teachers, friends, society and people who love us. They invest in us. Consequently, lot of good qualities are generated in us. Then of course, share of luck, support and innumerable factors build our success. It is either ignorance or arrogance that leads us believe that we are self made. No one is, in reality, "self made".”

He took a long pause, and continued, " Always remember to remain grateful and humble enough to recognise that you and your success is result of lots of contributions and efforts by many.”


This was very direct. As a successful entrepreneur, I did sometimes believe that I was self made.

“Did you hear me say that I was self made”, I asked foolishly.

He stared. Took some time to answer “No, Not yet”.

“ What do you mean by not yet? “, I asked.

“ You are on that path”, He said. “I fear that you would soon start behaving like one.”

“Why do you think so?”, I asked.

“For the simple reason that you are trying hard to become one. Remaining simple and humble is easy. Just do your Karma and do not take entire credit for success. Taking credit is first step towards becoming a self praising arrogant. Then it creates a monster in you that feeds on ego, cynical praise by cronies and selfish persons that success brings along to surround you with.”

I felt ashamed. Almost naked.

He probably sensed it well. Calm again, he said “Understand that everyone knows that you are turning arrogant. Most of them do not want to tell you because they are nice. I have to tell you because no one else will. However, you could easy turn around. Just be humble.”

I was amazed. I never saw things that way. It was my blind spot.

Both of us walked back with awkward silence.


I was sleepless. Frustration and anger alternately overpowered me. Frustration of facing truth so direct and anger because I knew I was going wrong. I could see that I need to correct with a sense of urgency.

Many years later, after dinner my father was sharing his experiments with Buddhism and meditation. He suddenly stopped and then said, “Promise me that you would introspect everyday for minimum an hour”. I nodded and left him.

In the morning, when my mother went to serve him  bed tea, he was no more. He lived and died peacefully. He left behind good memories of walks and conversations.

My world at forty was suddenly very different. I was very alone in my journey to become good. I was my own mentor.




To be continued.......