Demise of A Relation - A Short Story:

Demise of Relationships

At eight, his favourite pass time was to question his father. He thought his father knew it all, like most kids. There was something unique about his relation with his father. He was very scared of him. Short tempered and very impulsive, he was not too sure when to be with him or not. He however, realised that his father was never impatient with him. Something that he could never figure out why, for his father was easily irritable with most persons.


It is amazing that memory of childhood are more vivid when you are middle aged than in teens and twenties. Recall is automatic. Any happening can trigger recall. We are far more emotional. Tears easily roll down cheeks at recall of good as well as bad memories!

Ram, his father, would often ask him to come for a walk with him when he returned from the college after teaching for eight hours. He was always thinking or planning. Walks will be quiet, till I would ask a question. He will suddenly become very attentive. His deep voice will appear to be coming from a distance. Slow and very methodical. No trace of hurry. No irritation. That's why I would always ask questions. For, the very soothing communication was only incentive for those long boring walks.

It was a nice day. Sun was bright and breeze was cool. I asked Ram, why do friends don't get along? Why relations break? I asked because I had fight with my friend.

He took time and then said, let us sit down. Something that never happened before. Walks were always long and brisk and there was no stopping. I would run to keep pace with him.

He looked at me and said,"Be prepared, because many relations die in our life time. Some may impact you and even incapacitate for some time. You need to know that you have to gather yourself and move on."

And a long pause. He started again. Some are natural deaths. Your grand mother died when I was only nine. I have very faint memory. Many years I dreamt a lady in white saari would lift me, cuddle me and I would wet the bed. I cried whenever I saw this dream. My father and step mother thought that I was crying because of shame. It is very difficult to explain impact of loss. My family would sometime scold me, not understanding why it happened. Emotional impact of a loss of relation could be huge.

I did not know how to react. I could see my very strong father little melted. I felt the hurt that he had. I forgot about fight with my friend.

We returned home slowly. My father made me sit on his shoulders. We barely talked. I had seen a very different side of my father that I liked even more. I felt like spending my whole day with him, everyday. What struck me most was his honesty. His ability to expose his weaknesses of childhood.

I still was confused about how to deal with a loss. I still wanted to know more about him. How he managed. How did he overcome his loss? How he became such a strong man, almost invincible. Never giving up. Very optimistic. Restlessness was almost killing. I wanted to know it all, yet lacked courage to talk to him. I could not sleep.

Walks did continue. I could not muster courage to ask him more about his mother or about relationships. If relationship runs deep, fear of loosing that runs deeper. We develop extraordinary senses of understanding "unsaid". We long to keep relationship from hitting any air pocket.

It was a sunny morning. I was barely up. Tossing and turning in bed. Mom was trying to get me off bed. This is one thing my mom could not do well. She was very loving and could be taken from granted. So, to avoid, initially ignore and if that does not work get angry with her in a way that it just does not reach father's ear. If it does, all he would do is say, "Laksh come here" and it worked like an electric shock. Jump out of bed and go to him. Normally, he would say, "Get ready". On way to bathroom, mom would be smiling with an expression,"Told you!". However, it was different this time. He said,"Laksh let us go for a walk".

I instantly knew he would talk about something interesting. Instant happiness and I was ready in less than a minute. He was smiling. The communication of 'unsaid'.

Soon we hit the regular trail, he started. Loss of relationship is difficult to deal with. I think there are three ways. Feel very sad about it. Or work to rub the memory off and ignore. Thirdly, let memory be part of life, a happy part.

First path leads to lot of complications. You get depressed. Even good memory recall brings tears. It eventually may lead to psychic problem. This is not certainly a nice way to lead life.

Second path can be adopted by very self centered persons. How can you ignore memories of someone you loved. This is probably highest meanness.

Third is probably the bravest and most natural way to live. You let memory recall happen as and when it happens. Treat those memories with sense of attachment and feel what you would have felt when person was still around. Celebrate memories. You know when I feel very strongly about your grandma, I go and sit by the lake, alone, and enjoy remebering her.

This puzzled me more, though, answered one question. I always wondered why my father avoided me some days and went alone. He went to meet his mother.